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Talkin' Crumb Gobbler Blues (Westfall)

from WESTFALL MOUNTAIN (2012) by WESTFALL MOUNTAIN

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Written by Bob during a road trip to Texas in May, 2012. It's a weird song, but it's a true story; every word.

Talkin' Crumb Gobbler Blues (live): youtu.be/30XLzf9DwU4

lyrics

TALKIN' CRUMB GOBBLER BLUES
I was driving West on Texas 71
Burning up the Lexus in the Texas sun
An hour from Austin, the day near done
I saw a sign that said, "Cold Beer Sold Here."

I figured, what's a fella to do
Thought I'd stop and have a brew
Found a table at Peter's BBQ
Across from Handsome Molly and her mother, so dear.

Handsome Molly got married last summer
There she sat, saying, "What a bummer..
30 years old and not getting any younger"
She said, "If I wanna have a baby, now's the time to do it."

She was sitting there chopping up a plumb cobbler
Talkin' 'bout' popping out a crumb gobbler
Dreaming of cleaning up toddler slobber
She said, "I've got a husband, and I know how to use it."

Handsome Molly was quite the looker
She would have made a mighty fine hooker
If she wasn't tied down, I'd have took her
For a long joyride in my Lexus.

It was then I remembered I was in the Bible Belt
That caused my smile to melt
For if Molly knew what was on my mind, well
She'd probably call me a sexist swine

Hell, with thoughts like mine, I just can't win
Every thought in my mind's a genuine sin
There's no use lying. I might as well begin
To walk the path of the Heavenly Father

Maybe then I'd get a woman like Molly
Twice as handsome and three times jolly
With a little luck, me and Pretty Polly
We'd have ourselves seven crumb gobblers.

I was driving West on Texas 71
Burning up the Lexus in the Texas sun
An hour from Austin, the day near done
I saw a sign that said, "Cold Beer Sold Here."

(c) Bob Westfall 2012

credits

from WESTFALL MOUNTAIN (2012), released September 1, 2012
Bob Westfall - Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica, Banjo, Bass
Mike Mountain - Vocals, Guitar
Brandon Williams - Mandolin

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Bob Westfall Moonlight Poet Vancouver, British Columbia

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