TALKIN' CRUMB GOBBLER BLUES
I was driving West on Texas 71
Burning up the Lexus in the Texas sun
An hour from Austin, the day near done
I saw a sign that said, "Cold Beer Sold Here."
I figured, what's a fella to do
Thought I'd stop and have a brew
Found a table at Peter's BBQ
Across from Handsome Molly and her mother, so dear.
Handsome Molly got married last summer
There she sat, saying, "What a bummer..
30 years old and not getting any younger"
She said, "If I wanna have a baby, now's the time to do it."
She was sitting there chopping up a plumb cobbler
Talkin' 'bout' popping out a crumb gobbler
Dreaming of cleaning up toddler slobber
She said, "I've got a husband, and I know how to use it."
Handsome Molly was quite the looker
She would have made a mighty fine hooker
If she wasn't tied down, I'd have took her
For a long joyride in my Lexus.
It was then I remembered I was in the Bible Belt
That caused my smile to melt
For if Molly knew what was on my mind, well
She'd probably call me a sexist swine
Hell, with thoughts like mine, I just can't win
Every thought in my mind's a genuine sin
There's no use lying. I might as well begin
To walk the path of the Heavenly Father
Maybe then I'd get a woman like Molly
Twice as handsome and three times jolly
With a little luck, me and Pretty Polly
We'd have ourselves seven crumb gobblers.
I was driving West on Texas 71
Burning up the Lexus in the Texas sun
An hour from Austin, the day near done
I saw a sign that said, "Cold Beer Sold Here."
(c) Bob Westfall 2012
credits
from WESTFALL MOUNTAIN (2012),
released September 1, 2012
Bob Westfall - Vocals, Guitar, Harmonica, Banjo, Bass
Mike Mountain - Vocals, Guitar
Brandon Williams - Mandolin
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