I wrote this 'talking blues' style song at a roadside beer joint called Peter's Barbecue about an hour outside of Austin, Texas. It's a true story. For anyone that doesn't know, a crumb gobbler is another word for a baby. Don't forget to pronounce the 'r' in crumb.
Live version with Westfall Mountain in New Westminster, B.C.
youtu.be/30XLzf9DwU4
lyrics
TALKIN' CRUMB GOBBLER BLUES
I was driving west on Texas 71
Burning up the Lexus in the Texas sun
An hour from Austin, the day near done
I saw a sign that said, "cold beer sold here"
I figured, what's a fella to do?
Thought I'd stop and have a brew
Found a table at Peter's BBQ
Across from handsome Molly and her mother so dear.
Handsome Molly got married last summer
There she sat, saying, "What a bummer"
Thirty years old and not gettin' any younger
She said, "If I wanna have a baby, now's the time to do it."
She was sitting there choppin' up a plumb cobbler
Talkin' 'bout popping out a crumb gobbler
Dreamin' of cleaning up toddler slobber
She said, "I've got a husband and I know how to use it."
Well, handsome Molly was quite the looker
She would've made a mighty fine hooker
If she wasn't tied down, I'd've took her
For a long joy ride in my Lexus.
It was then I remembered I was in the bible belt
That caused my smile to melt
For if Molly knew what was on my mind, well,
She'd probably call me a sexist swine
Hell, with thoughts like mine I just can't win
Every thought in my mind's a genuine sin
There's no use lying, I might as well begin
To walk the path of the heavenly father
Maybe then I'd get a woman like Molly
Twice as handsome and three times jolly
With a little luck me and pretty Polly
We'd have ourselves seven crumb gobblers
I was driving west on Texas 71
Burning up the Lexus in the Texas sun
An hour from Austin, the day near done
I saw a sign that said, "cold beer sold here".
credits
from LIVE & LO-FI @ THE ACT (2018),
released January 1, 2019
Words & music by Bob Westfall
(c) copyright Bob Westfall 2019
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